The BLUGH: December 7, 2022
“Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.”
Birthday BLUGH!!! This BLUGH is a tribute to my middle sister, Bryton, whom I call Carmen and whose birthday is today. I have been thinking about how to pay tribute to Bryton in the BLUGH and landed on one of poetry’s most precious forms, the acrostic. It’s no wonder we are taught about acrostics starting in grade school; it takes years to become a skilled acrosisist, but I believe it is something I have perfected. Below you will find my masterpiece, Acrostic of Bryton.
B - BRAVE: Because she gets up every day looking like that! Jk she’s my little sister, I had to! But I do think she is brave because she does hard things even when she is nervous or afraid and if a snake were slithering toward me, I am 95% sure she would do something about it.
R - RIGID: She sits up straight and doesn’t express emotion or affection too much but she is getting better at crying and I’m proud of her.
Y - YOGA: This wouldn’t have been on the Acronym of Bryton a few years ago but Bryton got really into yoga In 2020 in no small part due to the amazing Soul Yoga in Greenville, SC.
T - THRIVING: Bryton continues to thrive in various ways: amazing friend group, great job, community engagement, beauty, youth, and a bright future that includes fostering a dog very soon.
O - ONE TIME when we were little we were at some kind of home school field trip and the pioneer-dressed tour guide asked the group if anyone didn’t want to be rich and Bryton raised her hand and IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING like why did you raise your hand everyone else raised their hand when the tour guide asked who wants to BE rich do you want to be poor for real or do you want to be different it was so embarrassing like WHY in front of all the other homeschoolers and their teacher parents????
N - NICE: She’s legitimately very nice and always has been. She would always offer to share even when she was very little which was really good because growing up she had a snotty, pushy, greedy, possession-hungry big sister (la auteur).
As amazing as that acrostic was, it doesn’t begin to cover the depth of Bryton’s personality or the scope of her accomplishments and experiences. I hope you will have the good luck of meeting her one day if you don’t know her alreadyI
🩰LEARNING FROM THIS WEEK: this learning is actually from years ago. I followed Bryton to ballet and couldn’t (wouldn’t?) do my own bun for a couple months and Bryton had to do it for me. Bryton understandably grew tired of doing her older sister’s hair so I figured it out. Here’s a how to guide similar to the one I used to learn one of the EASIEST hair styles ever.🩰
PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION
Bryton is not a big “product” person. She mostly just buys what she needs and avoids spending money on unnecessary things, so her life is boring and lacks meaning. That said, this hair dryer she purchased fixed her broken, brittle hair. Like for real, no special technique, just a kinder, more effective hair dryer that literally changed the texture of her hair and in turn, the texture of her heart. Shout out to friend of the BLUGH, Evan Harris, who brought this hair dryer into Bryton’s life.
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BOOK RECOMMENDATION
Drama, Deception, Danger, a Double Spy. You can find all of this and more in one of Bryton’s favorite books, Mara, Daughter of the Nile. Written in 1953, this young adult treasure tells the story of Mara, a proud and beautiful slave girl in Egypt who yearns for freedom. There is no age limit to reading one of the best books ever written so order (or rent) immediately and enjoy.
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YOUTUBE?!?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM DOING THIS. I am foregoing TikToks this week to share instead some 2Chainz clips from his show, Most Expensivist on Vice TV. Bryton is more a YouTube consumer so I feel this is more appropriate. ALSO 2CHAINZ IS AMAZING AND HILARIOUS AND A GREAT DAD CHECK HIM OUT.
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September 2022
Bryton, In a Vineyard in Portugal
I can’t even begin to tell you how many photos I have of Bryton that I wanted to share for her Birthday BLUGH. I landed on this though because this is a signature pose of hers and it’s a freaking awesome pic.